Protein cravings
by Floopygirl
Summary: Sam’s POV during Upgrades. An AU story where she and Jack trade places behind that infamous force field. First fanfic ever. WIP
1. 1

Disclaimer: None of the characters or situations belong to me, much as I might wish otherwise

Summary – Sam's POV through some of Upgrades. I know this has been done to death, so apologies for my lack of creativity. First fanfic

Spoilers: Upgrades

Pairings: Minor S/J

Category: Humour, I think. Hopefully other people will agree

Rating: PG

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A/N This is my first piece of fanfic and has not turned out as planned at all, but I had so much fun writing it that I thought I'd post it anyway. The original plan was for a slightly more serious piece in 3rd person with the clichéd idea of "What if Jack was stuck behind the force field in Upgrades, not Sam?" Instead I wrote this. I am aware there are many shortcomings, eg that Sam's character not in canon, but I'm hoping that her hormonal imbalances could take part of the blame. Honest criticism would be greatly appreciated…

BTW, I'm British and therefore don't do US spelling.

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Afterwards I could only look at our experience with the armbands as a bad trip. Oh, not that I've ever used drugs recreationally; there were all those frat parties I attended at college before realising that I really did prefer to stay in with a new physics text or work out at the gym. Still, after being on active duty in Iraq and four years as a member of the flagship team of the SGC I've been doped up on pain meds more times than I can remember. Not to mention those pesky alien beverages which always seemed to have different effects on our brain chemistries, though of late the naquadah in my blood had been filtering out most of those. While most of my experience with opiates and the like has knocked me out and left me eager to curl up into a ball and sleep forever, after the odd mission of life-threatening danger or just your basic earth-in-peril situation even the painkillers couldn't kill my adrenaline rush. Instead I'd been fired up, feeling invincible, invulnerable, raring to go - only the feeling of my head spinning and my legs' failure to hold me had stopped me from running out to get some more. Of course, maybe that was also due to another screwy post-Jolinar reaction to the meds, I don't know ... but what I do know was that the rush from the armbands exceeded all of those experiences a hundred times over. 

There was no other explanation. While the Colonel had never been particularly bothered by the regs and certainly wasn't afraid of trying to dodge infirmary time, even he wouldn't disobey a direct order from General Hammond. Unless it was sneaking off-world to save the planet from Apophis' attack. Or a little girl having her memories stolen for the good of her people. Or one of a plethora of good reasons; the point was, even Colonel O'Neill wouldn't leave base against a direct order just for a steak. Or four. As for Daniel and I, we're positively cherubic in comparison... and technically I started the whole thing!

It was pretty cool, being the super-powered threesome. SG-1 has a well deserved reputation in the SGC as being the miracle-workers of the base: Daniel will translate any text in a minimum of time even if he's never seen the language before; I keep the gate working, redesign any number of naquadah reactors in my free time and rewrite the laws of physics on demand; Teal'c can take _anyone_ and as for our Colonel, if there's a suicidal mission going, you can bet that he'll be the first volunteer and come out alive at the end of it. There might be other teams on the base, but come a crisis we seem to be the only ones who ever get anything done. But this was so much cooler: super strength, stamina and speed, and side effects be damned. No one could touch us – and that's how we slipped off base and into town.

I must say that the Colonel was looking particularly hot that night in one of his many leather jackets and a pair of tight jeans that fitted just right. Or even better. And Daniel of course... well those big baby blues would be enough to get him any girl in town even if it wasn't for the rest of the package. Daniel's like a brother to me but that doesn't mean that I don't have eyes, or don't notice all the women panting over him. Nope, Dad always said that if you're going to do something, do it properly: if I have to yearn for someone above me in the chain of command, I might as well go for my CO and the 2IC of the base. Mmm, those eyes, those shoulders, that bu... brown eyes. Did I mention those eyes?

Of course, I was wearing my cutest red spaghetti-strapped top with jeans and my favourite leather jacket, but we couldn't even take our layers off. While I'm not normally one to flaunt my curves that particular evening I wasn't at all averse to attracting some male attention, but the alien device strapped to my forearm probably would have got me more than I bargained for. Whatever: even with my jacket on I managed to get a couple of games of pool in while the guys stood by and watched with their beers. Hopefully watching one part of my anatomy in particular with all the extra bending and wiggling I was doing, but you never know. So what if my behaviour was shameless: did I mention I was under an alien influence?

Of course it all ended badly. Men never like to be beaten by a hot blonde, yada yada, take it out on the geek instead… It was more amusing to watch Daniel get into a fight than anything else: after his time on SG-1 he could more than take any of those guys, and with his bracelet of super-powered goodness… no question. And as for the Colonel (is it weird that I can close my eyes and picture his tight jeans but can't bring myself to think his name?), talk about death on two legs. Except there wasn't any, death that is… bruises, blood and broken bones, but nothing serious. I was just upset that I didn't get to have any fun and join in, but at least those jerks wouldn't hit a woman. All in all, it would have been a good end to a wonderful evening if we hadn't been thrown out and banned for life… or at least till the bouncers forgot our faces. And if they hadn't phoned General Hammond to complain. Guess that's the end of that SG hangout, for this team at least.

So there we were, duly reprimanded by the General and totally not caring. Confined to base while Apophis built his new ship, all our super-powers awasting. Is it any wonder that we chose to disobey orders again?

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A/N: Should I continue, or write this off as a bad idea, sparked off by too much ice cream? Your opinions would be appreciated 


	2. 2

Disclaimer: still not mine 

A/N Apologies for any glaring errors about the naquadah. I felt Sam should have a chance to get some technobabble out of her system, but I haven't seen large chunks of Seasons Two or Three so I may have contradicted established knowledge. And my A-level Chemistry seems a very long time ago, so I was kinda clutching at straws!

I still haven't really done much more than fill in some Sam babble, but hopefully things should start changing next chapter, which is when life will get hard for me. Fingers crossed.

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The first step was so easy: Anise had told us that she had downloaded all the information on Apophis' new ship onto the computers so it was just a matter of finding and examining the data. Much as I disliked that female (huh, no doubt about that in _that_ costume), this time we really owed her. General Hammond probably would have wanted our analysis anyway, we were just being keen and doing our part to protect the planet. Or I convinced myself then: twenty-twenty hindsight can be so unforgiving. I was still free of misgivings: while the General and Janet were concerned, they just couldn't comprehend the full effect of the armbands and just how powerful they made us. No one could. For us to stand by and do nothing while we could avert future trouble was unthinkable, just because of people's lack of understanding. Plus, let's be honest, we wanted to show off. I mean, writing a book in a couple of hours or crushing a strength-meter may have seemed impressive, but exploding a mother ship? Talk about taking things to the next level.

It all seemed so simple. The jaffa guarding the gate and the ship wouldn't be a threat: we could zip out the gate so fast that they'd never see us coming. While the power core of the ship would be guarded, it required a liquid cooling system with lots of pipes: a little C4 would blow those away. Even the force fields couldn't stop us at full speed. And leaving the SGC certainly wasn't going to be hard; when you've written most of the code for the gate, adding a little extra to lock anyone with oh-so-good intentions out the system was a piece of cake. Hell, half our alien 'guests' seem to manage after only a few hours exposure to our technology. Note to self: must work on that…

The only 'hitch' came when we ran into Teal'c inside the gate room; it wasn't entirely clear whether he wanted to join us or to stop us, but we didn't want or need his help. Now I look back with shame at our arrogant and thoughtless behaviour towards a team mate; SG-1 never leaves anyone behind and we take that very seriously. You could call it our team motto. Our actions towards Teal'c smacked of pity towards the 'weaker alien', like children not wanting to play ball with the slow, dumb kid, and for him it must have comes as a slap in the face. Not that you'd know to look at him, no one does stoicism like our friend, and not that we had time to notice: we had to zip off to save the world after all.

And so we zipped and zapped and knocked over all the bad guys. Piece of cake. Then inside the ship we saw two muscle-bound men carrying a bar of naquadah on a stretcher. People never appreciate its density: its chemical structure is amazing, the atoms bond together in such a way that we've never seen before which explains how it can handle the colossal amount of energy required for the Stargate to create a stable wormhole. You see, when the molecules bind in such …Anyway, one bar may not sound like much but it would keep me happy in my lab for quite some time. When I explained as much Daniel volunteered to go get it and sped off, while the Colonel and I zoomed up a long corridor towards the inner sanctum of the ship and all its control systems. The superspeed thing was getting less fun though; my skin was starting to become clammy and I was feeling slightly light-headed, in that odd way you get where everything seems slightly unreal. For the first time since I'd put my armband on I began to feel uneasy and wondered if Janet's theory that they were having negative effects on our bodies had some basis. Then the Colonel stopped dead in his tracks.

I skidded to a halt and turned to him. "Sir? Is everything all right?"

"Does it feel hot to you, Carter?" His cheeks were slightly flushed, but as he took his hat off to fan himself for a second some of the colour dissipated. I was concerned, but after all we'd normally get hot running round; even with a little alien help, I figured that we'd start to get a little puffed.

"A little, Sir. Do you want to stop for a breather?" I bit back the crack about Jack's age that I was just dying to make as this really wasn't the time, but it seemed he could read my mind – or maybe he saw the flash of amusement in my eyes. Either way he retorted "I've still got a few miles left in me _Major_, so let's find that force shield ASAP."

"Yes Sir!" I replied – ever the good soldier – and started looking for it, as per orders. I found it by walking into it. Kinda like walking into a glass door – not that I'd _ever_ do something that stupid, of course – but more of a shock. On impact it shimmered blue and I was fascinated to see that it didn't look like a uniform barrier as in so many classics of the sci-fi genre, but was more like that bubbly 'privacy' glass you get on bathroom doors or a stained glass window. Very cool. I only wished that I could have stayed back to study it but there was no time; we paused, studied the frequency of the oscillations and then… only the whoosh of moving air. Air that was moving pretty damn fast, that is. I'd love to say that I felt a tingle but no such clichés that time (not that I've been spending too much time round the Colonel or anything). We could move fast enough to totally avoid the energy and it was a good thing too – I don't even want to think about what would happen if one of those things bisected you.

And then we were looking at the cooling system. It was amazing: a huge black tank extending upwards to the roof with pipes extending outwards on all levels and in different directions. So it doesn't sound like much when I describe it: exactly how articulate is an astrophysicist (theoretical, no less) supposed to sound anyway? No matter how much alien technology we come across, I never fail to feel a sense of awe and gratitude that I've seen so much. Daniel shares my feelings even if his primary interest is almost always the writing on the walls, but for Teal'c it's very often second-hand and quite frankly, most of the time the Colonel doesn't give a damn. He hates trees, dreads ruins and sneers at alien cultures: now show him a large body of water or a 'honking space gun' and he's happy. Quite a contradiction in terms, my CO. How such a complex man can act like such a ignoramus most of the time is beyond me. The curse of a short attention span, maybe. Who knows?

Anyway, we agreed to set the timers of the C4 for five minutes, which should give us a whole fifteen to get back to the gate and the hell out of there. I tried to explain the science of it to the Colonel but he wasn't interested: go figure. We zipped back to find Daniel, naquadah in his back-pack. I'd like to see those jerks from the bar call him a geek now! – even though they had probably learnt their lesson from the previous night. He looked a bit puffed but I figured we were all just flagging; my personal sense of detachment from reality was increasing but I wasn't too worried. So stupid. Again, how I could disregard the concerns of someone who was not only a superb doctor but my best friend… Not at all cringe-worthy, nope. Anyway, I figured Daniel would be OK and I guess that the Colonel did too because we zipped off together. And then we heard a thud, never a good sign when you're on a hostile planet and under an alien influence. When we had returned, Daniel was lying prone on the floor, unable to move, and then we heard a snick. And saw the armband unclasp itself from his arm. Talk about your bad timing. Only Daniel.

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A/N: Many thanks to my two reviewers: three cheers for you both! Your support is greatly appreciated 


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